When it comes to a loved one if you notice there have been changes or they start to become anxious your first thought is to want to help them in some way. If we could, we would take all those negative feelings and symptoms away. But while we can’t wave a magic wand for the anxiety to disappear, there are things you can do to help.
Anxiety isn’t pleasant, and we can all experience it in different ways. However, here are some of the things to consider when wanting to help a loved one with anxiety.
Get a better understanding of their anxiety and triggers
One of the first things you should do would be to get a better understanding of their anxiety and what triggers it. After all, anxiety can manifest in different ways with different people. Some people struggle with anxiety with intrusive thoughts and feelings, others have physical symptoms.
Anxiety can also be triggered in different situations, what might be anxiety-inducing for one person might not be for the other. Take time to truly understand how they feel and what causes the anxiety.
Make sure they know you are there for them
You will want to ensure that they know you are there for them. It is the ultimate way of supporting a loved one. Let them know by telling them frequently, sending messages on their phone, or helping them when you know they are facing an anxiety-induced situation. Sometimes even doing nothing but standing with them can be extremely supportive and comforting.
Ask them what they want or need from you
Sometimes we don’t realise that asking can be a great step forward in helping someone. We are all guilty of trying to take charge, googling resolutions and finding quick fixes, but if you can, why not ask them what they want or need from you? It might be that they just want to be able to talk to you without judgment or response. Maybe they just want you to hold their hand, give them a hug or help them with breathing techniques. Asking can be such a powerful way to help a loved one in need.
Keep lines of communication open
It is essential that you keep lines of communication open where possible. Anxiety is one of those things that people can find difficult to talk about, especially at the time, but that doesn’t mean to say they won’t want to talk about it in the future. Whether it is through text messages, WhatsApp or messenger services, or you speak on the phone, keep those lines of communication open and be there when they eventually want to offload and share.
Don’t always shine a light on their anxiety
While you may be aware that they are struggling with anxiety, the one thing you mustn’t do is shine a light on it. Talk about it when they want to share, discuss it if it is relevant to what is happening or the situation, but then aside from that, don’t put the spotlight on it. Anxiety can make someone feel strange, not normal, and be a huge trigger in itself. Talk about other things and be positive where possible.
Avoid adding extra pressure
Feeling anxious often means that extra pressure is added anyway, so don’t be the one to make things worse. Even when trying to help, you may unintentionally add pressure by encouraging them to do things differently. Being there is just as important as providing a solution. Take time.
Accepting these things take time
On the subject of time, it is important to realise that anxiety doesn’t just go away. It is often something that people have to control and live with. It can be reduced over time, and not manifest as frequently, but it will take time before they feel about suppressing it.
Make sure you take care of yourself as well
Finally, as much as you want to support and help a loved one who is anxious you can only do that if you are taking care of yourself. As the saying goes, you can’t pour from an empty cup. Take the time to ensure that you are looking after your own mental health. Eating well, staying hydrated, and exercising regularly. All of the things you might encourage your loved one to do. The more content and positive you feel, the more able you will be to constructively help those around you during their times of need.
Hopefully, these tips will help you if you are worried about a loved one who is anxious.
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